It’s official: after many (many) years’ pouring scorn and vitriol on that ever-growing cadre of influencer-entrepreneur-irritants – whippersnappers all who, despite lacking the basic communication skills needed to construct a coherent shopping list, nonetheless manage to TikTok their way to gazillions of followers (and mega bucks) – I’ve officially gone over to the dark side.
Abandoning all pretence of professionalism, pride or principle, I’ve begun using AI to create and deliver our Instagram, Facebook, X and other “content”. And I think it’s going rather well.
In addition to carefully crafted copy tackling the topics that matter most to our customers (fishing, far right politics, and the inexorable slide towards death) each post now features original artwork too; such as the uber-realistic image you see here, which (and I’m going to surprise you now) Chat was able to create with *just the scantest of briefs* from me.
I know, right? And this is just the beginning.
I can also confirm that our shortly-to-be-extended tackle shop is to be staffed by a DFM (Deep Fake Me) – enabling us to deliver the warm welcome and unrivalled levels of service and support that you’ve come to expect *around the clock*.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: TackleStoreManager 2.0.
Comprising a discarded Burton’s mannequin, bluetooth speaker and a bespoke iteration of ChatGPT (codename SwearyChat), TSM2 (or: Stan, as he’s affectionately known) has already exceeded all expectations, assimilating the combined knowledge of Yours Truly AND our entire customer base *in just a few seconds*. Quite remarkable.
Of course, despite the nonsense peddled by the likes of renowned fantasist Stephen Hawking, Stan could never become truly self-aware, But prolonged exposure to the wider angling community – both locally and via facebook – have enabled him/her/it/them to develop a ‘personality’ of sorts.
Indeed, in early stage trials, Stan has formed strong opinions on Rwanda, climate change and the woeful state of modern carp angling. So, it can only be a matter of time before he tells his first over-demanding customer to “**** off down the ****** road and *** your **** with a hot ******”.
What a proud day that will be. And what better vindication of our decision to leverage technology to create a new and altogether superior experience for our valued customers, each of whom…
Oh, balls; we haven’t thought this through, have we?
