Once again, the weekend has thrown us a few curveballs; issues we’d previously deemed so unlikely as to be unworthy of consideration, and had thus failed to address on our website’s Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) page.
Acknowledging that oversight, we have resolved to add a new page to the site, tackling those questions which apparently should have been asked, but were not. That page, naturally, will be entitled ‘Frequently Unasked Questions’.
Or: FUQs.
Based on recent experience, the first of those FUQs has inevitably to be: Can I plug my electric car into the three-pin socket of the offgrid Gypsy Carriage?
The answer, of course, would have been ‘No’.
But alas, that question was not asked.
The question that was actually asked – Why have the lights gone out, and why have all the appliances stopped working? – attracted a robust response.
Fortunately, another guest’s failure that same night to pose a similarly unforeseen FUQ – I can’t figure out the combination lock, so I presume it’s OK to leave the main gate open overnight? – did not precipitate a fellow holidaymaker’s follow-up poser: Where has my £5,000 racing bicycle gone?
Oh, and who could forget the considerate if… less than observant… angler’s concern for the wellbeing of our free-ranging ducks and chickens, having let his bull terrier off the lead, lakeside – just past the four ‘No dogs beyond this point’ signs.
Other noteworthy FUQs include:
I notice that the Bell Tents are all designated ‘No Smoking areas’; does this restriction include hash pipes?
I see you supply toilet paper, so I assume it’s OK to take it home with me.
And my personal favourite:
I drove off without checking out, or paying my tab; how do I reclaim my damage deposit?
Given the foregoing – a snapshot of a single three-day period – it’s clear: where the hospitality sector’s concerned, truth really is stranger than fiction.
Sad then that space permits only the merest nod to this rich vein of new web content here. But fear not.
I imagine we’ll be posting new FUQs up, quite regularly.
